literally had 100 drinks last night.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
being pregnant is like rehab
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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