Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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