dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
