I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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