would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
