Don't you send me to vm
thanks...oh and i got my period
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low