Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..