I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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