piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't deserve a penis
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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