My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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