I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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