What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
