We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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