Say something about gay babies.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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