I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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