Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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