You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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