somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I pour the whiskey from now on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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