by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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