You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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