you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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