mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
time to smoke my breakfast
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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