Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize