I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize