Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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