Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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