I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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