so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
