When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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