he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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