This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
