i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize