margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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