Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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