i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize