i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize