Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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