is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All the doctor said was why
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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