I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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