You work out of a Hotel?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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