Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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