He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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