Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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