People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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