trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize