If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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