I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize