are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize