I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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