Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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