so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
