Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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